Thank God for the hell I went through!


I’m tired of being grumpy.

I could list the many things I’m grumpy about (and I will be listing them with my counter joy at a later time), but I prefer to focus on what I’m going to do about changing my attitude instead of reliving it.

I’ve lost my thankful heart. 

Years ago, my family of four lived on less than paycheck to paycheck.  We didn’t struggle to ‘pay the bills’, we struggled with the decision, which bill do we partially pay?  Or do we pay for a $5 diabetes medicine or do we buy meat for our dinner?  Many of our struggles were a direct result of our poor choices but we also dealt with great personal losses including miscarriages, stillbirths, close family deaths/divorces, house fires, house floods (yes, both of those last ones are plural), and the isolation that accompanies living far from 99% of our family.

We were in a state of survival.  And yet, we were able to be thankful, grateful, happy, and full of joy.  Through it all, we survived as an intact, healthy family.

I’m not living a life of self-preservation anymore and instead of continuing my effort to find joy in each day,  I display complacent and stagnant (and not entirely authentic) contentment.  Without a balanced focus, I’ve allowed myself to feel entitled to every good thing.  Now, instead of feeling relief and joy when things fall into place, I ignore my blessings because that’s the way “it’s supposed to be.” God forgive me.

So I’m tackling one discontentment issue at a time in a journey to simplistic joy.  I strongly feel that we were not created to feel burdened, but free!  I’ve brought my own discontentment upon myself (there’s a lot of self-ownership in that statement and it’s not easy to admit, but there you go).  I no longer want to enable my grumpy attitude to rob me of my daily joy.  So I’m fighting my grumpy face starting now!  Thank God for the hell I went through.  Without it, I might not have this joy-shaped-hole in my soul to fill.

Grumpy face battle #1:  Physical house clutter.  I hate cleaning it, losing stuff, and never feeling comfortable inviting visitors.  Watch for the next post, but in the mean time, read my gurus’ work for inspiration to start your joy journey.

Andrea B is my favorite blogger (and not just because she’s a friend).  She gives real, tangible ways to bring meaning and purpose to your life.  It’s that simple.

Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist addresses the many ways minimalism helps live life to the fullest.

Until then, Love and peace…and joy!


About Kristina

I'm a communicator, an advocate, and a leader. I work with purpose at home with my husband and 8 kids. I'm a recovering former foster mom, mom of Gabriel and Elizabeth who were born without taking a breath, mom of 2 living children that I was blessed to birth, and mom to 6 children that came to me through foster care and adoption. I'm a marketing and programming professional, working each day with purpose while searching for that elusive work-life balance. I'm a pastor's wife in our neighborhood church, building family reaching those who need to be reminded: all are welcome! I'm a volunteer, advocating for ALL children and their families.

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  1. Pingback: Your life is a mess! | Lemon Plum

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